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Showing posts with label fruit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fruit. Show all posts
PENIS ENVY.
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TEENAGERS
When Jeremy's teenage daughter finished explaining he put down the glass he had been holding.
SEEING THE FINANCIAL MELTDOWN ON CNN
There goes my College Fund.
SQUIRRELY
I'm not a flying squirrel. The chute where's the chute?
THE SILENT KILLER
Constipation.
THE BAR
Ok that's it, THIS IS a Gay bar isn't it Tom?
A CAR BRA
Jenna's dream of being a mechanic was somewhat hindered.
BAITED BREATH
Honey I'm home, you should see what I caught. I'm not going to need that new table saw after all.
MAMA!
Yes that's right she took off the bra and then left. You should of seen how perfect her breasts were officer and at that size...well I cried for over a half hour.
A SHINGLE HARLEY
Look where I parked it. I think I'm getting too old for Bike Gangs . Hell my six year old thought she heard Angels.
MUSIC... ANNDD ACTION
(MUSIC) BBBBBAD, BAD TO THE BONE.
A STRETCH AT BEST
My boss is always asking me for advice. Now if he could do that, I could give him some.
CONSERVING ENERGY
No waist there!!!!
WELL RED
It was a stunning sunset that morning in Photoshop!
CHEQUE MATE?
Pride comes before a fall. They had enjoyed a nice evening out but the King should have taken Viagra!
BAD MEDICINE
Rory decided to sue his insurance company when he found out his leg had been replaced with an Endive.
A GRASP OF THE OBVIOUS
The Skeleton of a Politician.
"PARALLEL PARKING"
A comprehensive guide for women drivers...and me!
A CLING ON
For the last frickin' time Leonard it is not a toupee. It's my real hair!
HAND ME DOWNS
The Arm Zoo was a favorite place of most children in the area but Bob felt ripped off. He kept muttering something about wanting to see real animals.
IT'LL GIVE YOU GAS
Feeling the crunch of the economic crises the Gomez family sold their van.
NOT INCONTINENCE
The New Universal Sign for "Ohhhh ShShShShit! Wrong Switch".
RELATIVE
For instance in this picture you drew my nose too large 'relative' to the rest of my face. So either you fix it or you and all your 'relatives' will never work again. I hope that explains my theory and how it is 'relative' to your future.
'DICK' CHENEY
We had no confidence in the Vice President's eye sight .
MR. PERSONALITY
There I'm smiling, take the picture.
WHERE ARE THEY NOW.
...and then son The Village People pissed off the Lego Gods...
WAG THE DOG
This was new for Brian. Up to this moment all of his girlfriends had been bitches.
FOILED AGAIN
Joe's judgment was cloudy with a two percent chance of rain...
HE DIDN'T THINK
Hmmm no toilet paper. Now what?
HOW MANY?
QUESTION: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb ANSWER: A Fish
AND OBSERVANT TOO
"No sign of life on Mars" says Govenor Sarah Palin as Scientists all over the world yell "LOOK!!! LOOK!!!"
OSAMA BIN HIDEN
So that's where he is.
BIG ZIPPER LITTLE DIPPER
As he was being serviced by two cute guys, George W. Bush could not help thinking "It's good to be King"
SUDOKU
First there was Sudoku, now it's Extreme Sudoku. Who's next to have their days NUMBERED, this Friday at 8 pm E.T. on the 123 NETWORK (Formely Known As the A.B.SEE Network)
WHAT MOVIE?
Yeah well they haven't found Bin Laden either Scully. U.F.O.'s and Bin Laden if only we knew where to look.
PATHOS
I would take my old reliable bicycle for walks daily.
SHAKESPEARE AS A CHILD
Two bee or not two bee
A NEW FIREBIRD
Thanks Honey, but I meant the car.